As a pastor, I’m always looking for extraordinary examples of courage and insight. In his battle with cancer, Tony Snow exhibited these attributes and was able to put them into words. I invite you to take some time to read his thoughts and reflect upon them.
Blessings,
Karen
This is a testimony from Tony Snow, former Bush press secretary, written shortly before his death:
Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, – in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases – and there are millions in America today – find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God’s will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence ‘What It All Means”, Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.
The first is that we shouldn’t spend too much time trying to answer the ‘why’ questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can’t someone else get sick? We can’t answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.
I don’t know why I have cancer, and I don’t much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.
But despite this, – or because of it, – God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don’t know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.
Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system… A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.
To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life, – and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non-believing hearts – an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, and exuberantly – no matter how their days may be numbered.
Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease,- smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, – but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension – and yet don’t. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.
‘You Have Been Called’. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet; a loved one holds your hand at the side. ‘It’s cancer,’ the healer announces.
The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. ‘Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.” But another voice whispers: ‘You have been called.” Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter, – and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our ‘normal time”.
There’s another kind of response, although usually short-lived an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.
The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes ( Spain ), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.
There’s nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, – for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do. Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.
We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God’s love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples’ worries and fears.
‘Learning How to Live’. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God’s arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.
I sat by my best friend’s bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was a humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. ‘I’m going to try to beat [this cancer],’ he told me several months before he died. ‘But if I don’t, I’ll see you on the other side.’
His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn’t promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, – filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, – and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.
Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don’t matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?
When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, – to speak of us!
This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.
What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don’t know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God’s hand.
T. Snow
Since our sermon series is currently unpacking redemption, I’ve been watching in my everyday life where this has been occurring. A recent situation started with me trying to get a new license plate on Friday (my day off). Now many of us have experienced the pain of this event. You walk in to the building where you immediately see the long line. You pull a number from the machine and think, “Well gosh, this isn’t going to take long. I’ve only five numbers to go.” Little do you know.
You get to the front of THAT line, and they say, “Okay, wait until your number is called.” You ask, “How long do you think that might be?” The polite person says, “It’s about an hour and a half wait.” You take a deep breath.
At this point, let’s get to my story which I think could be slap-stick comedy or at least a scene from, “The Office.” I realize I have my email and phone with me, so I set up shop and go to work. The waiting room is pretty noisy so I go outside. After about an hour, I come back in and see that they have twenty-five more numbers before they come to me. The math is not to hard….I figure I can get about ten minutes of work done and I go back outside.
You probably already know where this is going, ten minutes later….I swear it was no more….I come back in to find they are four past my number. Panicked, I go up to the lady who originally gave me my number, where another gentleman is frustrated at having lost his turn also. She says, “Sorry, you have to take a new number.” Both the gentleman and I stare at her in disbelief. Can this be? Is this ethical? Are the lines so black and white here? Give us a little grace.
Wanting to make sure that I did not lose my cool, I left.
So this morning at 7:15, I arrived early enough to be seventh in line. The same lady who had given me the bad news on Friday was there to greet me. No doubt she recognized both me and the other guy who had lost his turn also. (He had a flight to catch!) She gave the same instructions that she had given us on Friday. “You must be here to hear your number called.” She smiled and said, “Have a nice day.” I said, “Thank you, you, too.” Wondering if she did not recognize me.
So, second chance. This time both the gentleman and I took our turns.
Redemption. Asked for a second chance…..got it.
The one point I want to make here that I’m still thinking about, is that Jesus has this whole system built on grace, and I just think there might have been some grace on Friday. Doesn’t mercy trump judgement? Or is this one of those ethical cases where the principle (“You must be here …..”) is the trump card.
Thoughts?
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Have you a list of ways that automatically boost your spirits? Are there people in your life that make you smile? I love our Congregational Care team who I spend most of my waking hours with; however, I have a short list of people and ways that will boost my energy and spirits.
At the top of the list of course is my husband and grandkids. This past weekend, Les and I kept the grandkids for three days. They help us remember how to roll around on the floor and giggle about fireflies. They help us see fireworks as if it is a brand new event.
Jesus said in Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come unto me, for such is the kingdom of God.” Somehow I get the vision that Jesus knew that the children would be laughing and finding ways to draw him into a time to play. How good it is to remember not to take ourselves to seriously… to just go outside and run if you can, or look at the clouds, bugs and frogs. All of this helps us be refreshed. Can’t you just see Jesus laughing?
My prayer for you today: “Gracious God, thank you for this day and for the joy of the people all around us. Allow us time to laugh with each other. Help us to look at clouds and flower and green grass with new eyes. Lord God, if there is someone out there who needs their spirits lifted, I would pray that you would bring to them a happy thought or situation that would allow them to forget the seriousness of whatever might be troubling them. Forgive us when we take ourselves to seriously. We give ourselves to you anticipating your joy to come. In Christ’s name. Amen”